BY ZRCL @misseckhaus


Our first and last walk uphill was for possession of two yellowing plums, she said. No, two brown flowers, he said. Okay. Two Brown Flowers. We climbed slowly toward the house of destiny. No,no, the temple of chance. The other direction two stones rolled downhill, she said. Billiard balls. They were billiard balls, he said. Oh yes, I recall. It was exactly then, that I made fun of your sunburn, she said and dropped the plums, he said. When you made so much out of nothing. -M. Yakich
"'One day you and I and this will all turn to dust.'he said, she said, they said."
-P. Thek

AFTER THE GOLDRUSH

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I'M FARM SITTING THIS WEEKEND ON AN UNDISCLOSED, VAST LUXURY ESTATE WHICH ALSO SERVES AS A PARTIAL HOME FOR THE WONDERFUL GREENHORNS. AFTER A VERY LONG TRAFFIC JAMMED DRIVE UP NORTH, I ARRIVED WELL AFTER DARK IN THE POURING RAIN WITH MANY CREATURES TO ATTEND TO. IMMEDIATELY UPON MY ARRIVAL, I DIRECTED THE CAR'S HEADLIGHTS INTO THE PASTURE THAT HOUSES ALL OF THE CHICKENS, WHO WERE STILL OUT WELL AFTER THEIR BED TIME. I QUICKLY HOISTED MYSELF OVER THE FENCE, WHERE ONE OF MY DANSKOS GOT STUCK IN A RUNG, AND FELL FACE FIRST INTO A DEEP MUD PUDDLE. I THEN WET MYSELF, PARTIALLY DUE TO NEGLIGENCE TOWARDS MY OWN BLADDER IN A LONG CAR RIDE, AND PARTIALLY BECAUSE I WAS HYSTERICAL WITH LAUGHTER. AFTER A HOT SHOWER, I FELL ASLEEP TO NEIL'S "OH LONESOME ME."
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THIS MORNING AT 6AM, AFTER PICKING OUT THE BEST OUTFIT FOR SOLO MORNING CHORES, I WENT TO REVISIT THE CHICKENS. AS I WAS FEEDING THE LAYERS, THIS TERRIFYING SILVER ROOSTER DECIDED TO TAKE OFFENSE TO MY POPPY ORANGE CHILDREN'S SKI PANTS. THIS FEISTY BIRD ACTED AS THE BULL AS MY BOTTOM HALF SERVED AS A MATADORS FLAG. I SUDDENLY FOUND MYSELF PARTICIPATING IN A COCK FIGHT, OF WHICH I LOST. THIS WRETCHED SILVER CREATURE WOULD FLY 4 FEET INTO THE AIR, TALONS FACING FORWARD AND RELENTLESSLY THRUST ALL OF HIS WEIGHT AND SHARPNESS INTO MY WAIST THIGHS AND SHINS. I EVENTUALLY JUST RAN. I JUST RECEIVED WORD FROM THE BOSS THAT IF I CAN CATCH HIM, HE'S MINE FOR DINNER. (EPILOGUE)
TO SHAKE IT OFF, I DROVE INTO TOWN AND PURCHASED THIS CLEAR HOOD-LESS DOUBLE BREASTED RAINCOAT. NOTICE THE RUBBERBAND INSIDE THE WRIST HEM.(ALSO A VERY STRANGE COINCIDENCE AFTER JUST SEEING THIS       HERE)